drs

A 4 Month Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 03:24:00 +0000

I'm REALLLY happy!

10 days ago, Maia passed the 4 months old mark. As I wrote in the last blog post, between 3 months and 4 months Maia had the trip to the hospital, but thankfully there was plenty of other going ons in the last month so that such was not as dominating of an event.

Maia travelled into the wonderful state of Michigan for the first time since the Firm Retreat to attend her cousin, Gavin's, 5th birthday. It was nice to spend the time with family, and Maia did a great job handling the noise of the bowling alley where the party was at (and got to see her Dad beat everyone else in bowling :)).

Besides attending her cousin's birthday (and seeing her Aunt, Uncle, and other cousin as well), Maia got to meet her great grandmother for the first time. And her Great Grandmother immediately declare that she was obviously a Shuler baby because she was a cute baby. Maia was gracious enough to even share a smile.

Just hanging with Great Grandma!

Outside of those trips, most of the excitement has been going on inside our house. On the one end, we have some inklings that Maia might be beginning to teeth (or beginning to pre-teeth according to some people). Whenever she is fussy, she insists on putting her fists (sometimes trying to squeeze both in at the same time) in her mouth, and sometimes ends up attempting to chew on her pacifier and bottle instead of sucking. However, even though we got the okay to start attempting solid foods, she soundly rejected that first attempt with some very loud screaming.

On the other end, Maia rolled from her stomach to her back for the first time (I never thought something so simple would be so exciting to watch). Now, when placed on her stomach, she will repeatedly go from her stomach to her back. The progress happens so quickly. She is pretty darn close to being able to go from her back to stomach, she just needs to figure out how to get her head out of the way to complete that turn.

WOW! I just rolled over, didn't I!?

The hard part with all this is trying to stay away from the benchmarks of when a baby is supposed to something. Often, I think we have to remind ourselves not to get too caught up on that for several reasons, but in large part that because she was likely born 3 weeks early, and then spent an additional 10 days in the hospital after birth that could have stalled the physical development of certain things (like muscle development to roll over). Its not much time in the grand scheme of things, but it is proportionally for a baby. At least that's what I tell myself to try and keep perspective and maintain focus on more important things.

Like the fact that she remains, generally, a very happy baby, who loves to interact with her toys, and with us, and is growing just like she's supposed to. At that 4 month doctor's appointment, she weighed in at 13 pounds 3 ounces, meaning that she officially leaves Ellie in the dust in the size department. She is also now exactly 2 feet long(tall), and in the words of the doctor - "perfectly proportional."

I'm now smaller than a baby. Shameful.

And, right on her 4 month "day," Maia got her 4 month pictures taken. No better way to end than that...

Just love those eyes.

A 3 Month Update: Hockey Game, Birthday, and Hospital

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:36:00 +0000

Hey! What's Up?

Its been two weeks since Maia turned three months old, and I had planned to do a post for each month during the first year, if for nothing else just to have as a time capsule of sort for that first year. My plans for that post got delayed, when immediately following that 3 month benchmark, Maia ended up getting sick, then sicker, then diagnosed with RSV and ending up in the hospital for a couple days. It was an eventful last half of March to say the least...

The time between the second month and third month benchmark has continued to confirm in many ways how good of a baby Maia is, and how fortunate we are as a result. She has continued to be a model "bottle eater," consistently taking more and more up to just now recently taking the maximum she can during a day, and extending her sleeping over night.

Everyone wants to be part of the fun!

During the month, her routine seemed to be awake for most of the morning, with a small catnap occasionally, a longer 2 hour nap or so in the afternoon, and then a solid 8-9 hour stretch overnight (we usually don't broadcast this too much). At this point, the trade off for the solid nights is that there is occasionally a pretty fussy period during the day; but honestly, there are no complaints. Maia has been a wonderful baby, and we are very fortunate (and grateful).

Right when Maia turned 3 months, we took her to her first sporting event (Jackie and I love going to varying sporting events) - a Fort Wayne Komets game with Jackie's parents. Jackie grew up going to games with her dad, and Jackie and I have gone to numerous games over the past several years. So the games represent a link both to Jackie's childhood and our relationship, and we were excited to begin those types of experiences with Maia (even if she won't remember it). It was a great time, Maia was just as happy as could be the entire time we were at the game, and slept like a rock afterwards. It was a great night.

Ready for her first hockey game!

But, life sometimes has a way of reminding us that its path isn't without bumps. The following week, we started noticing that Maia had some congestion, and a little cough. When we called the doctor's office, they advised us to monitor her temperature, her eating habits, and her attitude; if she developed a fever, or began having issues eating, and become more fussy than usual, we should schedule an appointment. For the first couple days of the week, while the congestion stuck around and the cough became more persistent, nothing else changed for Maia - she remained the happy baby she usually is, her temperatures remained normal, and she had no issues eating. That changed heading into Wednesday night.

Due to the congestion issues while she was eating, when she coughed she would have a little spit up. On Wednesday night, the little spit up turned into a large spit up (twice, both times going down my back. Sticky.). So we decided then that we would schedule a doctor appointment the next day, and Jackie's mom was kind enough to take a day off work and come to babysit for the day, until I could take Maia to the appointment that afternoon. Maia, despite the congestion, coughing, and spitting up, was still generally happy, and greeted me that Thursday morning, which happened to be my birthday, with a big grin.

Is this what a sick baby looks like?

So, I got home from the office and got Maia ready to go to the doctor's office. She had ate fairly normal that day - similar amount of food, just smaller amounts more frequently. And she was a happy baby on the way over. Considering everything that happens during a doctor's appointment, I thought she (and I) was doing pretty well. First they weighed her, and she didn't like getting undressed, but I was able to calm her back down. Then they took her temperature (where the sun don't shine), and she hated that; but I was able to calm her back down. Then they took a swab from her nose, which she hated; but I got her to calm back down. Then they strapped a mask to her head to attempt a breathing treatment to see how it would go, and (you guessed it), she hated it; but I once again got her to calm down. And at this point, considering everything that is going on, I feel so badly for her as all of these tests and procedures are upsetting her when she seems otherwise in a good mood, but I'm also feeling not too shabby about myself - I mean, I got her to calm down from various stages of upsettedness (its a word) in a small exam room, way to go Dad.

Then the doctor comes back in, says it looks like she is positive for RSV, and she is a bit dehydrated, so we're going to do a direct admit to the hospital. Maia was okay with the news (she apparently likes charming nurses and doctors at hospitals), but Dad wasn't feeling so great anymore. Obviously, taking one's sick baby to the hospital isn't a great way to spend one's birthday. But, it was my first birthday as a Dad. I was doing something to take care of my child, a child I've waited a long time to have. I was being Dad on my birthday - there are much worse things than that. So, after my initial shock (because again, besides the coughing, which was never excessive, and the couple large spit ups Wednesday night, Maia was the same baby she has always been - happy and predictable), on to the hospital it was.

Warm and fuzzy, right?

And the long hospital check in progress. Registration. Insurance cards and information. Passwords for access to the relevant section of the hospital. And the whole time, Maia's just looking around, quiet and calm, a virtual sea of tranquility next to her frantic Dad who is worried at any moment she will eventually lose it. But she doesn't, and we eventually make it through the maze of the hospital wings, and to her room, where she would spend the next three nights. While I'm waiting for them to bring in the crib, Jackie arrives (fresh off of parent-teacher conferences), relieved that she is finally there, and just as nervous as I am. Maia - just looking around taking it all in. Then they wheel in her crib, which literally looks like a jail cell for an baby.

The next three days are a blur. Fortunately, Jackie had the Friday off from work, so she could be there Friday while I had some work stuff. We're both running back and forth from home to the hospital, running errands, and making sure that one of us is always at the hospital. Jackie took the tough job of staying at the hospital over night, while I stayed at home with Ellie each night (who, by the way, I don't think has ever been so confused).

I'm done touring this hospital now. We can go home.

But Maia did what she was supposed to do at the hospital. She got her fluids through her IV. While she received the IV most of the time she was there, along with breathing treatments, she was able to bottle feed the entire time, thankfully. It was interesting to compare this trip to the hospital with the time she spend in the NICU right after birth. She could barely take 2 ounces at that time, would take 45 minutes to do it, we would have to help force it along near the end, and she was completely zonked by the end. This time, even with the congestion, she was taking 4 ounces within 15-20 minutes, did NOT want to be stopped during the process for burping, and was alert when finished. And her little attitude stayed great the entire time, smiling and cooing at nurses and doctors (when they weren't poking her, of course). We are very lucky.

Um, what are we doing again?

Sunday afternoon Maia was released with an almost clean bill of health - we needed to continue breathing treatments at home on her own, and have a follow up appointment within a couple days. The breathing treatments went well, although Maia always had this quizzical look on her face when we did the treatments.

We managed the week without having to send her back to the sitter, trying to couple it with Jackie's spring break to give her a two week break. Jackie stayed home on Monday, her mom covered Tuesday, I stayed home on Wednesday, and my mom covered Thursdays (grandparents are wonderful, aren't they). On that Wednesday, I also took Maia in for her follow up appointment; and I was pretty nervous about it, considering my track record with the doctor's appointments. The first one I took her too, she got shots and screamed like I wish I never hear again. The second one, we ended up in a direct admit to the hospital. Thankfully, this one was better, and she had a clean bill of health. And, as if we had any doubt, she quickly upped her feeding to the point where she was taking 6 ounces at a time, and within 20 minutes or so. She's come a long ways, and time sure does fly.

Really, being a big sister is hard work!

It was a crazy and hectic two weeks that encompassed her 3 month old day. Our first hockey game. A trip to the hospital on my first birthday as Dad. 3 nights in the hospital, 3 more of breathing treatments. And all of sudden, we're sneaking up on her being 4 months old already. But after all that excitement, a nice quiet week of rest was welcomed.

Okay sleep, I give up.

The Juxtaposition of Life and Death

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:40:00 +0000

This week was, to say the least, an odd week for me, as I experienced a juxtaposition of sorts between a particular book I was reading, Mortality by Christopher Hitchens, and something I witnessed.

Hitchens' book contains his thoughts and writings about his experience and philosophy after he as diagnosed with esophageal cancer and faced the imminent prospect of his own mortality. Hitchens' writing is poignantly honest, in such a way to almost make you palpably feel the fear of being diagnosed with cancer; the fear of undergoing radiation treatments; the fear of losing your sense of self and identity; the fear of dying, not as an instant, but as a long, painful, and inevitable journey. The book's brutal honesty makes it an incredible read, and Hitchens writing is powerful and clear. All of which confirms the conclusions of not only how awful cancer is, but how awful treatment for it can be, and how awful cancer can make one's final journey from this world.

It may even lead one to think of how they don't want to die that way; how it would be better to have life end quickly, without the prolonged suffering of the dying process.

In actuality, the above sentiment is one I hear quite often in discussions with clients regarding their end-of-life wishes and health care advance directives. Many fear death, but more than that, they fear the act of dying, the suffering and pain involved; how a prolonged process forces them (us) to confront the inevitability of it, and seemingly take away their (our) dignity, and maybe even a bit of our humanity.

The juxtaposition I experienced this week was witnessing life being taken away without the drawn out process. In the small city where I work, there was a murder-suicide on Monday, which took place about a block to two blocks from my office. It occurred right after I had pulled into our office parking lot; I heard the shots that later turned out to be the murder, and then witnesses (from about 75 feet or so), the suicide part of the incident. Two lives gone in a matter of seconds.

Its an interesting, almost surreal experience to witness, even at a distant, the premature ending of human life. And for me, witnessing this at the same time I was reading Hitchens' book...well, it makes you think not only about death and dying, but life and meaning; and, for lack of better phrasing, since we all have to die, what's the "better" way?

But as I work my way through my thoughts this week, I begin to think that such a question is misplaced. The better way isn't one way of dying versus another; its about one way of living versus another. The cancer victim and the murder victim had no control over the cause of their death and ultimately, they shouldn't be defined by that which they have no control over. The individual committing suicide had control over his own death, but is now defined solely by that act (and the murder). What's the "better" way?

Do you want to be defined by how you died, or by how you lived?

"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne, "The Shawshank Redemption"

A 2 Month Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:17:00 +0000

There's no problem with the lungs now.

Well, about a week ago, Maia officially became a 2 month old. I wrote last month, that time flies when you're having fun. Such is still true; but I think our past month, with Jackie's return to work looming and all the changes that such encompassed, and our anxiousness at getting the adoption process finalized and ridding ourselves of associated fears, actually made the second month feel a little longer. But its still a special time; a time that I hope I can keep documenting in some fashion on here and with pictures elsewhere.

Enjoying reading already.

Well, as I also wrote last month, while I don't have anything to compare our experience with Maia against, the second month has been just as great as the first, if not more so. She has gotten more active and social, so there are more opportunities to interact with her, be it with her play gym, one-on-one face interaction to get her to smile, and having deep conversations (she prefers philosophical ones).

But apparently she's unsure about this "bread" thing.

She has continued to be just a wonderful baby at feeding and sleeping. We've consistently upped her feeding amounts, to the point now where she gets most of what she needs during the day, and she has started to sleep almost 6 hours over night. Obviously, only having to worry about one overnight feeding has been beneficial to our sleeping patterns. Much of this seemed confirmed during her two month appointment this past Wednesday (which, considering it involved several shots, Jackie cleverly left me with).

I like my bottle.

Maia, who was born at 5 pounds 14 ounces, bottomed out at 5 pounds 2 ounces, and was 6 pounds 8 ounces at her first doctor visit a month ago, has no grown to be 9 pounds 12 ounces. She also grew another 2 inches, registering at 22 inches long/tall. It really is something to just be able to "see" them grow in such a short period of time.

We're going where?!?!

I had been dreading the doctor appointment for awhile, because of the shots. Not because I get queasy about shots, because I don't. And not because I was worried extensively about Maia; she's not going to remember anyway, and its only a short time. But, selfishly or self-consciously or both, being worried about getting her to calm down following the shots, under the judging eyes of nurses and doctors. Thankfully, she calmed down in a fairly reasonable time afterwards, but not before forming her first two (perfect, by the way) tears. Guess its good to know that the tear ducts work. I guess.

The appointment was also further confirmation that light travels faster than sound. After the first shot, you could clearly see Maia's face turn a bright, deep red before she let our her scream. The scream doesn't stick with me; its her face. I had no idea that a human face could turn so red, so very, very quickly. I don't think its normal.

I can't believe it...a needle...I just can't...

Anyway, the appointment this Wednesday also represents part of the new routine for our household this week. This was Jackie's first week back to work; Maia's first week at the sitter's; Ellie's first week back to spending days by herself; and my first week of spending Wednesdays at home. All things considered, I think we are adjusting well. Jackie, understandably, is much more tired; but probably just needs to find her sea legs, so to speak, over the next couple weeks of teaching. Maia, just as she does everything, is doing perfectly (I swear, I'm not wrapped around her little fist) at the sitter, who is also great. Ellie, well, she did try to hide under the crib yesterday morning and this morning; but she always hides before going to her room even in August following a summer of being out all the time, so its normal (for what can constitute normal for her). And for me, well, I just have to remind myself that not every Wednesday will have as much crying and screaming as this past one; but ultimately, I am thrilled with the prospect of getting one day each week with just me and my daughter.

There are some other things from this past month I will write about at some point. But for now, life in our little household of four continues to roll along, and I'm just trying to enjoy the moments of joy and contentness that present themselves each day.

I mean, how do you say no to that face.

The (tardy) One Month Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 23:03:00 +0000

Earlier this week, our little girl went past the one month old marker. As they say, time sure does fly; which is true in this instance, because it certainly doesn't feel like she's a month old already (although, in my defense, we did spend the first 10 days of that month in the hospital, so that skews it a bit at this point, I think). But in any event, and though I have nothing to compare it against, its been a great first month. Jackie and I (and Ellie) continue to figure out our "new normal" with Maia, and while the stream of visitors on weekends have been steady (its so odd to see so many people without having to drive; kind of nice really ;)), the last two weeks, being the first full weeks of work for me since we arrived home with Maia just before Christmas, has given a little glimpse of that new normal (which, of course, only lasts to mid-February, when Jackie goes back to work, when another new normal will begin).

"Fine. If she has to stay, I'm taking her Lion mat."

Maia's been a great baby; she hasn't had any health problems since we've been home. She started increasing her food consumption immediately, and has already gained at least a pound since we got home. She is pretty consistent at eating every 4 hours, with a little wrinkle thrown in every now and then to keep us on our toes. And generally, outside of her one or two real active periods throughout the day, she can be counted on to sleep for at least 2.5 - 3 hours without waking. We'll take it for as long as it lasts. I think Maia's come to terms with the fact that she has a crazy dog, who is already trying to steal her stuff.

"Huh, the Universe is how big, you say?"

We've already established a little routine for her (or for us, depending on how you look at it). At her feeding that occurs anytime between 7 and 9 at night, we go to the nursery for her feeding, share a book (usually Jackie) or a story (usually me), and rock her to sleep. With me working right now, I cherish this particular time most of all. During our overnight feedings, we try not to have too much interaction and stimulation for her, so this can be, depending on how my schedule and her schedule cooperate, the time each day that I get my most interaction with her. And while I have, literally, no idea what I'm doing, I simply enjoy rocking her, listening to music with her, talking to her, and so on. I've always said that coming home, and being greeted by an overjoyed puppy every single day, puts me in such a great place. This, obviously different, does the same thing. Truly valuable time.

The whole experience continues to be such a joyous ride. One month as a family of four. And while there has been some challenges, and there will undoubtedly be more coming, I'm loving every bit of our "four-dom."

"I'm how old?"

The Post on Resolutions (w/ 3 words for 2013)

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:11:00 +0000

Over the past several years, I have always written a post (typically in December) sharing reflections from the prior year and some resolutions looking forward ahead to the new year. As I've written in the past, I tend to make resolutions, because I tend to be a very goal oriented person and like (need) the motivation that comes from working toward something. While I am a bit later with this post than in years past (and am making the post strictly forward looking at this point), I have been thinking about what resolutions I could make for the coming year.

Then, a few days ago, good friend Nick posted this wonderful blog post about his three words for 2013. Instead of a resolution, these words were more of an outline for the coming year, of things he seeks to found this life year on. I think such is a great exercise, and has the potential to be so much more all-encompassing than a simple resolution. I like the idea that the words can capture "big" things (two great words right there), whereas resolutions, which have the advantage of being specific, can fall short by being too limited. So, in the vein of the proverbially "reaching for the stars," my three words for 2013:

Focus: Maintain focus, minimize distractions; or rather, minimize the amount of time that is wasted and lost due to distractions. I have several things I strive towards (goals, so to speak :)), such as striving to be healthier, striving to do better managing finances, striving to be efficient. And I do really well at these things for short stretches, and then lose focus - I get distracted too easily and fall off the path that I want to travel. I want to maintain my focus longer, and with more intensity.

"Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed." - Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

Balance: Kind of a perpetual word in my world, ever since I read Aristotle and my mind *clicked* so easily with his ethic of moderation. I've written earlier about the extra stuff I am involved in, from Kiwanis and Aktion Club to the Library Board and various church committees. Obviously, this year, with finally having the child that Jackie and I have so longed for, achieving an appropriate balance feels more important than ever. It's alright to say no; not because you dislike the person asking you to get involved or hate the project, etc., but because time is finite. And its not just trying to strike the right balance between work and non-work, but within that non-work time, balancing time appropriately between service obligations and family, and among family.

"Be aware of wonder. Live a balance life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some." - Robert Fulgham

Happiness: This may seem like an unusual word choice, but hey, their my words and its my blog, right. The reason why I include it is because the word is a simple reminder; a reminder to be happy. My personality is such that I can often drag myself down paths of somber moodiness. I get wrapped up with thoughts deep in my mind, and lose a little touch with my reality. Such is unfortunate, because my reality for the coming year - a wife who is my friend and complete partner, a beautiful new daughter, a crazy dog that makes me smile everyday, an incredible loving family, loyal and trusted friends, good job and great co-workers, a wonderful fellowship network through our church and other service organizations - well, its pretty awesome. And I need to remember that.

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." - Dalai Lama XIV

Focus. Balance. Happiness. My 3 words of guidance to myself for the coming year. All our daily challenges, and worthwhile. Bring it on 2013.

"Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can." - Dalai Lama XIV

The Post on Harry Potter, Truths, and Opportunities

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 19:15:00 +0000

A little over a month ago, I wrote a post explaining why I had decided to read the Harry Potter books. As that post stated, I had just finished reading Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, a novel about banning books, and listened to a presentation which encouraged individuals to not read the Harry Potter books because they contained "misleading ideas." It got me stewing about the various discussions about banning books, and the books that are frequently on the lists of most frequently requested books to be banned (of which have included the Harry Potter series).

So, I set out to read the series in its entirety, and just finished the seventh and final book this past weekend. And I remain confused about how they're misleading; unless, of course, one wishes to maintain the position that all fiction is misleading - which, while I guess is a consistent position, seems a bit extreme. But, I think that must be the idea behind telling people not to read it. I recall a time during a book discussion on Homer's The Iliad where a gentleman shared that he did not like the book because "it's not real," and he was only interested in truth.

While I can respect the search for truth, it seems narrow-minded to have as a founding premise of that search that no truth can come from a work of fiction. While fiction obviously does not describe in accuracy events in history that actually happened, or events that are even possible (be it fantasy or science-fiction), that does not mean that fiction cannot speak to truths about the human condition; about love and friendship; about forgiveness and redemption; about existence and searching. This is, in part, what makes certain holy texts (be it the Bible or Bhagavad Gita) remarkable - they address truths about the human condition, and the factual accuracy of its stories is not necessary for those truths to be real.

And as I reflect upon reading the Harry Potter series, I don't see the "misleading" ideas; again, unless all fiction is misleading. As I wrote in that prior post, I understand the belief that certain books and ideas may not be age appropriate. And with Harry Potter, there probably is an age that is too young to read it; but what an opportunity those books present a parent (or any adult) for discussion with their child (or any child). To discuss the characters, what makes them good and bad, what their flaws and strengths are. At its core, at least for my reflection, the book is not just about good battling evil, but what separates those that are good from those that are evil. The book's suggestion is that the ability to experience true friendship, to sacrifice for others, and to love others is what separates the good from the evil. That is both a great, lasting message, but a call to action.

Imagine the opportunities to discuss those themes, ideals, and truths with others. A book ban removes those opportunities. And, I think, the last thing we need is less ideas in our world, less discussion and dialogue in our communities.

"To prohibit the reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be either fools or slaves." - Claude Adrien Helvetius

"Only the nonreader fears books." - Richard Peck

The Post Introducing the Daughter (Part 3 - The Final Part)

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 13:53:00 +0000

We made it to Fort Wayne and Parkview Hospital early in the evening on that Saturday, December 15th, and were greeted by Jackie's parents when we arrived. After waiting maybe an hour for them to get Maia situated in her room, and going through our own health screening process in order to be permitted access to the NICU, we were back in to see our little girl.

I promise, we weren't growing her head.

We would be at the Parkview NICU a little over a week. Through their continued treatment and diagnostic tests, we learned (confirmed) the three respiratory issues Maia was having: (1) she most likely had pneumonia; (2) her breathing continued to be too rapid and too much of a struggle in order to bottle feed; and (3) she could not get appropriate oxygen saturation to her entire body. For the pneumonia, she needed to receive seven straight days of antibiotics. For the breathing too fast, it was simply a matter of waiting for her lungs to figure it out (and the antibiotics would also help slow and naturalize the breathing a little more). For the oxygen saturation, she had to receive a concentrated form of oxygen. The air we breath is 21% oxygen, by Sunday, Maia was under a "Oxygen Hood" (which really looks like something out of a bad science fiction movie) that gave her air that had an oxygen concentration of over 50%. This figure had to get back to normal air levels, and had to be at least around 35% before they would remove the hood and supply the concentrated oxygen through a tube in her nose.

Maia was under the hood for roughly 4 days, having it finally off on Wednesday of the following week. While she still had some progress to make (she wasn't quite ready to be bottle fed), she was definitely making progress, and with the hood off, we could hold her again for the first time since the previous Friday. What a feeling!

One happy Dad!

And one happy Mom!

Maia continued to make steady progress, and by the next day, her breathing had normalized to the point where we could start attempting to bottle feed (which she took to very well!).

I'm trying to figure out the eating thing.

Thinking hard on life's big questions already ;)

It became apparent at the end of the week that we would probably be headed home soon, and we just kept hoping that we would be home in time for Christmas. It had been a long first week of Maia's life, for us, and obviously for her. While spending a little over a week in the NICU was obviously not the way we imagined spending the first week of our daughter's life, it was still a positive experience. We were always blown away by the level of care that Maia received. It was a huge blessing to be so close to Jackie's family, and have them and other friends and family stop by most of the days we were there to visit with us. It also was a reminder that we were still fortunate. There was never really any doubt that Maia was going to get better, it was just a matter of how long it would take. Spending that time in the NICU, and seeing what other families and babies are facing, and how some don't know if their child will get better, gave us that dose of perspective that kept us positive.

Finally, no cords or monitors!

As I said, it wasn't how we imagined spending our daughter's first week of life, but I wouldn't trade it. We never imagined, six years ago when we started seriously talking about starting our family, that we would experience infertility, that we would have to wait six years to have a child of our own, that we would explore and fall in love with the idea of adoption. At the end of the day, I would not trade those experiences, because while I wouldn't have chosen that path at the time, its the path that led us to Maia. Sometimes, you just have to go where life leads you.

We came home on Sunday, December 23rd, just in time for Christmas. We started our own little Christmas Eve tradition, where everyone in the family got new pajamas to open and wear that night. We had grilled cheese and home made chili that night for dinner. I will always remember that meal.

Then, for the first time since Jackie and I have been married, which is over 7 years, we woke up on Christmas morning in our home. With our daughter snoozing a few feet away and our furry little dog asleep under the covers. The best presents can't be unwrapped. What a feeling that was waking up that morning.

Our family was home.

A Very Merry Christmas!

The Post Introducing the Daughter (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 17:31:00 +0000

It's too bright!

So, Maia was born two weeks ago today, at 12:06 p.m. When she arrived, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice; explaining in part why they could register her breathing on the ultrasound the previous night. She was immediately taken to the hospital nursery where we each got to hold her for the first time; about a minute each. Just as we and the nurses were about to try and bottle feed her for the first time (I would say about 30-45 minutes after birth), everyone kind of noticed that she was looking a little blue, the result of not getting enough oxygen throughout her body.

At that point, Maia started receiving oxygen assistance, supplied through a cannula (I think) at first, and then later in the day, through a CPAP machine, which also made sure that her lungs were completely open. What we understood at that point was that she might have pneumonia, but that she was also breathing too rapidly - anywhere in the vicinity of 90-100 breaths per minute, where she needed to be under 60 breaths per minute regularly before they could try any bottle feeding. So, after a couple minutes of holding her, Maia spent the next day receiving oxygen assistance and nutrition through a feeding tube.

Cords and cords, everywhere cords.

It became apparent by the next morning, that things were not really improving; they weren't getting worse, and the doctor and nurses weren't alarmed, but her breathing stayed consistently too rapid. For that reason, along with some other, non-medical ones, we started talking about transferring Maia to another hospital that would have more resources to care for her. Initially, they started talking about transferring her to Riley's or St. Vincent's in Indianapolis. We took a quick look at our insurance coverage, not expecting to find anything remotely close to be covered, but discovered that Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne was in our insurance network, and it wouldn't be that much further to have Maia transported there as opposed to any of the Indianapolis hospitals. We talked with the doctor, and she said she thought that was fine, and started making arrangements with Parkview.

As difficult as this was - waiting to add to your family for so long, finally getting that chance to hold your own child, and then having to sit and wait, powerless to do anything to help her get better - going to Parkview and Fort Wayne was as about an ideal situation we could ask for under the circumstances. We would be back to only being a little over an hour away from home. More importantly, Jackie's folks live in Fort Wayne and her dad actually worked at the Parkview Hospital we would be transferring to, and it was much closer to my folks; we knew we would have that family support and presence that we would be unlikely to get had we transferred someplace else.

So, the hospitals quickly made the arrangements and at about 3pm that Saturday afternoon, the transfer team from the Parkview NICU (NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit) arrived and immediately did their thing to start transporting Maia to the new hospital. They worked quickly and efficiently while we looked on (again, feeling powerless to affect what is the biggest thing in your life at the moment is a frustrating, humbling, and trusting experience).

They placed her in this contraption, and started their journey back to Fort Wayne.

We started our journey up to Fort Wayne immediately behind, continuing to wonder when we would finally be able to not only hold Maia again, but take her to her new home.

The Post Introducing the Daughter (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 20:28:00 +0000

Sometimes its hard to know where to begin a post (or a series of post), rather than just beginning. So here's post 1 (of how many, I'm not sure), of the journey that led to the newest addition to our family - our daughter, Maia Grace Nicole...

As anyone who reads my occasional blog posts here knows, Jackie and I started this year with the misfortune of a second miscarriage, and the decision to move forward with adding to our family through adoption. I wrote several posts throughout the year on our process of getting approved and on a waiting list, to waiting, to meeting our birthmother, and our ongoing relationship with her, including the false alarm in mid-November. Well, since that date, I was convinced that our birthmother would go into labor two weeks ago today, December 13th, as I was subpoenaed to testify in court that day, and it would a course happen when I was on the stand.

I was close to being right. Two weeks ago, my testifying went off without any issues. I left the court, finished some work at the office, and headed home a little early because we had planned to call our birthmother that night, possibly to see if she wanted us to visit again that weekend. Right at 5pm, just as we were sitting down to call her, Jackie's phone went off, and our birthmother was calling us. She was at the hospital, they had told her that there was some issues with the baby, and that they were going to run some more tests but they might be inducing her (at 37 weeks), due to those issues. (Later, we learned what those issues were - our birthmother had failed her non-stress test; and her biophysical score, which is out of 10 and should at least be a 6 I guess, was a 2 - simply put, on the ultrasound, the baby wasn't moving and they could not pick up that the baby was breathing). She was, naturally, very upset and needed us to come right away. We immediately jumped in our Kia and started the 4 hour drive south to the hospital (which we made in just under 3 hours and 30 minutes).

The entire drive down, I was still convincing myself that it wasn't really going happen; I was preparing myself that we would journey down, and they would find out that everything was still okay, and not induce because she still was three weeks away from her due date; I was preparing myself for having to have that long drive back the same night. Well, soon as we pulled onto the street about a half mile away from the hospital, our birthmother called again to check to see how close we were, and to let us know that the doctors had confirmed that would begin inducing her within an hour or so.

This was actually happening. We rushed inside the hospital, found our way to the maternity ward (being grateful that our agency was on the ball and had all the paperwork to the hospital already so they had an idea of who we were and why we were there), found our birthmother's room and joined her. They did induce her that night (Thursday). We waited and stayed with our birthmom, along with a friend of hers, throughout the night and into the next morning, as things slowly moved forward.

We waited.

Then, before noon on Friday, things started to speed up, and I was out of the room as we got closer and closer to the actual birth (though Jackie did stay in for the entire time). I am outside the room, standing in the hallway of a very quiet maternity ward. Just waiting. Its not just past noon, and I can hear the distinct noise of a baby crying. I look over at the hallway clock; Maia Grace Nicole entered this world at 12:06 p.m. on December 14th, 2012.

Our journey to finally have a child of our own had started close to six years prior to this date; it was a long dream finally realized. We were overjoyed.

Little did we know at that time that our daughter would make us wait a little bit longer before coming home.

Already screaming! :) Her first pic, showing her
weight, 5 pounds, 14 ounces.

Some Final NaBloPoMo Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 03:23:00 +0000

Well, coming into the month I had only written 25 blog posts all year, and I challenged myself to the National Blog Posting Month challenge - to write a blog post each and every day this month. When I decided to do, I was just hoping that it cause me to write a little more frequently, as I enjoy writing for something that isn't for work - something that can be a less formal writing venture. I never imagined that I would actually accomplish the goal, and write a blog post each and every day for the month of November. Considering the holiday of Thanksgiving, and the amount of other travel we did this much, it actually feels like an accomplishment.

In any event, it wasn't always pretty, and many posts consisted of redundant themes, or just some pics or videos, or a few lines of poetry, but I accomplished what I set out for when taking on the NaBloPoMo challenge. Here's some quick tidbits on what I learned...

- Each blog post doesn't have to be a novel, or even a "long," or even completely say in full detail what I wish to write - it can be just a quick expression of thoughts, even if not fully formed.

- There is so much flexibility in the format an individual blog post can take, and that flexibility can help me be more creative.

- The process of thinking of a topic to blog about each day caused me to be both more aware each day, and more reflective, than usual.

- I really enjoy the process of casual writing.

As such, blogging should really be something I do more than just a few times each month. I'm not a traditional artsy or creative guy, but blogging gives me some form of creative outlet that I don't normally get, and it continues to be both a cathartic and beneficial process for me to undertake.

So I leave the requirements of my challenge, a blog post everyday behind, glad that its not a daily thing any more, but hopeful that I the experience can spur to be a more active blogger.

Routines and Life Examination

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 03:35:00 +0000

Last night and tonight, I've been thinking a lot about routines, and how it affects our processes of self-examination, and examination of our life.

Yesterday following school, Jackie traveled down to Indianapolis for a seminar with several co-workers, not returning back until late tonight. Thus, the last two nights have been just Ellie and me around the house. It kind of highlighted how routine based our lives are, as everything seemed out of whack.

Ellie, who currently is continuing to rip to shreds her spotted rag (also the toy formerly known as giraffe), didn't play with a single toy while Jackie was gone. Rather, she spent practically all of both evenings laying either on me or right beside me.

I, who usually start dinner as soon as I get home, ended up waiting several hours before getting around to "make" myself something - with both nights consisting of a bowl of cereal and some assorted food items. I'm usually so particular about planning my meals and wanting to have that hot dinner at the table, but not when it would just be me (I didn't have this problem living alone during law school, just now). I watched the 6:30pm national news broadcast, and I can't remember the last time I watched the national news on TV. I watched a Christmas special on television (the lighting of the tree in Rockefeller Center), solely because I knew that is what Jackie would have been watching if she were home, though she also would have flipped to "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

Our lives sometimes have that "lather, rinse, and repeat" quality to it that you don't notice until something, however small, interrupts or jostles it. Such, in and of itself, doesn't strike me as something that is positive or negative. But it is a two-folded challenge, I think.

For one, its a challenge to appreciate the routine - appreciate the comfort it provides, and how the comfort can rejuvenate and sustain us. Having a solid routine can mean we are avoiding the up and downs that seem to come naturally with life. Obviously, some of those peaks and valleys cannot be avoided, but the journey can be much smoother is our daily routine can avoid the emotional roller-coaster. Simply, a good routine and provide a true sense of calm and peace; and that calm and peace can be such a good foundation for life.

But its also a challenge to avoid becoming a slave to the routine, to placing the routine above all else, and avoiding the practice of examining one's life. Doing so can result in losing flexibility to deal with those inevitable peaks and valleys. More troublesome, I think, is that placing the routine on the pedestal above all else can result is making decisions that, while preserving that routine, causes us to miss opportunities to better ourselves, our relationships, and our communities.

Finding that balance - between cherishing the routine without becoming beholden to it - I imagine to be a process of constant struggle, and a cause for reflection and examination. But regardless of the internal struggle such process can result it, I would think that such is better than not engaging in that reflective process at all.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

"The examined life ain't worth chub." - Gus, The River Why

My Favorite Book

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 02:53:00 +0000

I'm only 3 posts away from accomplishing my challenge to myself to write a blog post every day for the month of November, and tonight has probably been the hardest to think of something. Some nights I had little time, so I quickly posted a poem, or some other short entry. Tonight, I think I've been looking at the computer trying to think of something to write about for at least over 30 minutes.

Earlier this month, I wrote a post sharing some book recommendations from a list of what I considered the best books I had read this year. So, tonight, I thought I would share what was and is my favorite book.

The River Why by David James Duncan. I read the book my senior year in high school. Re-read it during the summer between high school and college. Read it several more times during college, and several times since then. It continues to be a I don't imagine that the book is anything particularly special for most people, but for me, I've always been able to relate to it and the primary character, I've enjoyed the symbolism of a novel "about" fishing and soul-searching, and the stories and characters make me laugh.

Simply, the book is about a man's search for meaning, for his place on this planet and in the Universe. But it also contains his search for meaning in his every day routine, in relationships with his family and eventually the love of his life. It's a story I've always found meaning in, and applicability to my own life.

Below I thought I'd share on of my favorite passages from the novel

Dawn came up from behind the hills, extending her old fingertips of rose. I plodded on toward the outstretched fingers and the glimmering continued; fish-bites, birth-pangs, I didn't know what they were. But the further I walked, the less I cared. It was enough to feel them.

I trudged on, helpless to catch hold on things, but hopeful. And when the first sunlight lit upon the tallest ridge's highest vineleaf maple, when the rosy fingers faded into blue behind the mountain, when the vineleaf's leaves shone out in scarred and blazing scarlet atop that wave-like ridge of dull alder gold a chill shot from my thights to the top of my head, surged up my backbone, again and again - for in that moment I felt as though an oldest, greatest, longest-lost Friend had come to walk the road, unseen beside me . . .

I think the passage encapsulates my spiritual feelings, in that I never feel more "spiritual," more connected with existence, than I do when standing in awe of our planet, and of our Universe.

Fahrenheit 451, Harry Potter, & Thought Control

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 03:20:00 +0000

Tonight, as the final part of my local library's fall series (which was themed around books with numbers in the title), we heard a lecture from a local professor on and discussed Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. I believe this is the second time I have read the book, and being such an iconic book, is probably worth a couple more reads over the course of one's life.

The short version recap of the book is that its about a society that burns all books because of the harm the books can do. The story takes place in some indeterminate point in the future, where there are only a few that remember reading books on religion, philosophy, of poetry, etc.. It provides a social critique of how we entertain ourselves as a society, and how choices can reflect values. Its a powerful book in so many ways, and can be evaluated, analyzed, and discussed from so many angles.

Reading it led me to pick the next book(s) to read - the Harry Potter series. Its an interesting path, I imagine, from a "classic" book with exalted status like Fahrenheit 451 to the popular fiction of the Harry Potter series, but the connection is clear in my mind. Earlier this month, I was listening to a presentation, and the presenter was stressing to his audience the importance of reading and contemplating scriptures. In the process of doing so, he referenced the Harry Potter books, labeled them as containing "misleading" ideas, and warned the audience to stay away from them (I hope this last sentence comes out of nowhere, or catches you off guard, because I was very much caught off guard when I heard his statement).

Obviously, the parallel isn't exact - this is one guy sharing his opinion, versus the authority of the police-state banning books - but as I read Fahrenheit 451, I could not help but think of the relationship of that moment to Bradbury's book. Having watched all the Harry Potter movies, I'm familiar with many of its characters and the world its set in, as well as its themes of friendship and good versus evil. I've also been aware that there are people that view the movies/books differently because, I guess like the presenter said, they feel it can be misleading to children or impressionable minds. (The ALA has a list of the top 10 most requested banned books since 2001 here - most remarkable to me, how many times To Kill A Mockingbird appears).

To be honest, I've never understood the urge of those that wish to ban books. I get that some books may be inappropriate for certain age groups to read, for a variety of reasons. I don't get why said fact makes the book inappropriate for anyone to read. If an individual parent does not wish their child to read Harry Potter because of the magic, the violence, or whatever, then that's a choice they can make and explain to their child. But when the push and movement to ban the book altogether, thereby taking that decision out of the hands of all other parents and individuals, such an action begins to border on thought control.

Thought control. Trying to utilize the power of the state to control what people are allowed to read, and thus control what information people receive. Disallowing certain types of books and only allowing certain information to be disseminated can result in controlling what ideas are thought of and discussed (literature provides a great example of this in Orwell's 1984).

So anyway, thus lies my motivation for reading the Harry Potter books, even though I've watched the movies and have a pretty good idea on how each of the books will generally go. I'll gain detail and nuance, and probably a greater appreciation for the world imagined by J.K. Rowling. But I'm pretty sure, that at the end of the seven books, while I will have read about wizards and witches, evil lords and magical spells, the books will be about what the movies were about - the bonds of friendships, and choosing to do what is right, even when it's not easy (and why would we want to ban that message is beyond my understanding).

Liking Science

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:52:00 +0000

Over the past year, one of my growing areas of interest, broadly defined, has been science. I've tried to make a more concerted effort to select certain science books to read (here's a list), following several scientists on Twitter to gain their random musings (as well as their links to any articles they may write) (my two favorites are Neil deGrasse Tyson and Phil Plait), and just have tried to become more mindful of how incredible the natural, physical universe we live in, is.

To this end, I often find myself watching time lapse videos, like the below. I enjoy these videos for many reasons - they are spectacularly beautiful and they are typically accompanied by soothing music, being two pretty good reasons. But I particularly enjoy the time-lapse nature of them - it does such an incredible job of showing the constant motion that is happening around us, even if we ourselves don't always consciously experience it. That movement, I find, serves as a useful reminder of how transient life is in the Universe, and how we should we value our time in it. Because the Earth will keep on spinning, and time will keep on ticking.

One of my favorite time-lapse videos - Within Two Worlds via Goldpaint Photography

Within Two Worlds from Goldpaint Photography on Vimeo.

Final Thanksgiving Week Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 01:07:00 +0000

I've enjoyed the last week, sharing a little bit of my daily pursuit of mindfulness, the awareness of all that I should be thankful for; and blogging about it I think helped, as I was forced into more reflection than what I normally do on the subject. But as a final post on the matter of being mindful and being thankful, I thought I would write a little about what has been our life for most of this year, and how I am thankful for it.

Our life has centered on adoption this year. From moving past the second miscarriage in January, to exploring the idea of adoption, researching adoption agencies and options, completing all the paperwork and other requirements to be approved for an adoption, to finally meeting a birth mother and becoming part of her life, and her part of ours. The process has had its ups and downs, has been both incredibly challenging and rewarding, and has significantly, I think, altered certain of my perspectives and outlook.

I am very thankful for our whole adoption experience this year because it stands in such contrast to the infertility process of prior years. I think experiencing infertility fits the maxim that its something you have to experience it to understand it. Because it can be such a tough topic to talk about, experiencing it can make you feel very alone. Because there is so much emphasis in our society to have families, the inability that infertility presents you with makes you feel very isolated. Because as a young couple with two steady professions, we would frequently get asked when we would be having kids and starting a family (again, part of that social emphasis), that sense of isolation can permeate your daily existence. Suffice to say, our experiences with infertility ended of making us feel very isolated, and very alone.

The adoption process has done the opposite of that.

Its the learning about other couples that have adopted their children, or how many people who know someone who adopted. Its a reminder that we're not alone on our journey.

Its the incredible outpouring of love and support we received from family and friends. We held five garage sales this year to help raise money, mostly with "merchandise" that wasn't ours, donated from friends and family. We've had friends and family give us so many items we would need for a baby when it arrived - from clothes and sleep sacks (personal favorite), to a mattress and several swings. We had several friends offer their time and willingness to come over and get Ellie whenever we would have to take off. During our false alarm of last week, we discovered how many people were working with us at each of our jobs to step in if we needed to leave in a rush or at an inopportune time. We're not alone on our journey.

We've had several friends and family give to our fundraising page for adoption. Amazing. The simple fact that such an organization exists to help people afford the cost of adoption is a reminder that we are not alone on our journey. The fact that we had friends and family write to their representatives regarding the Adoption Tax Credit is another reminder of how much support and companionship we have on the journey.

Adoption has defined our life in 2012 thus far. And I am grateful for its definition, because it included the reminder that we are not alone in our journey; far from that, we are surrounded and even overwhelmed by the number of people that have been with us on it. We started 2012 feeling very much alone and with little hope. It looks like we may end 2012 with hope, a new family member, and the knowledge that her story includes so very many people.

The Post-Post Thanksgiving Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 02:30:00 +0000

I know, I know, my creative titles are putting all others to shame.

Today was our "third" Thanksgiving, as we traveled up to Lansing to celebrate Turkey Day with my folks and my sister's family. Sometimes I think the holidays are a little curse when you live far away from family - they bring you together in ways you can't do other times of the year (probably chiefly because most everyone can get the time off, having to work being such a pesky obligation). But while that time is always great, you end of leaving to go back to the daily grind, and sometimes you can feel the void of being farther away a little more presciently following the warmth of family during the holidays.

That reflection aside, it was another great day of sharing time and stories with family, as well as food, and having good conversations catching up.. And it was another reminder of how fortunate Jackie and I are to have two wonderful, loving, and supportive families. Not everyone is even lucky enough to have one family like that, and we have two.

I am thankful for Jackie's family, and the way they have always welcomed me as part of theirs. I am thankful for my family, and the way they haven't kicked me out yet. I am thankful.

The Post-Thanksgiving Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 01:22:00 +0000

Another post about thinking and reflecting on the things for which I'm grateful, albeit one that I have a little more time to write (and I know everyone's impressed with my super-creative titles for all my posts this week! ;))

As I hoped my quick posts earlier this week showed, there is always much to be thankful for, particularly if one lives in this country (U.S. - or any "first world" country, for that matter). There are many little things that occur throughout our day - things that make our day and lives easier, that gives a moment of laughter, a moment of sincere reflection, a moment of genuine emotion - all moments that we should strive to be continual mindful of their presence. In some respects though, the moments, events, and people that spark the stronger reactions are easier to remember. The challenge, I think, is finding that "attitude of gratitude" in the mundane, daily routine of life.

Throughout the daily routine, there can be so much one can take for granted. Personally, I fear most that I end up taking for granted the people closest to me. I worry that when you trust and love someone so much, and you know that they love and trust you, you just count on them always being there. While such is true, I worry about letting that turn into an expectation instead of something to be continually grateful for.

As I sit and write, and reflect on today and this past week, I am grateful for Jackie. She is my best friend, my confidant, my partner in all ways. She balances my ups and downs, helps me keep focus during hectic times, and is always a patient listener (and trust me, it requires patience to listen to me, I tend to be long-winded). She makes me laugh. She lets me be who I am, while always pushing me to become a better person.

I talked about how important I view mindfulness earlier this week. Sometimes, being mindful of what is constant and unchanging is the most difficult; but the most important. Thus, I strive to be better and being mindful of Jackie's presence in my life, and communicating that gratefulness.

So, today (and everyday), I am thankful for her.

The Thanksgiving Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 01:09:00 +0000

The quick, and too short list, of things for which I'm thankful for today -

Watching TV in bed.

Turkey; and stuffing; and mashed potatoes; all that good comfort food.

Days that while long, are more good than long.

Peanut Butter Cup Pie.

Entertaining football games.

Good family conversations.

Family.

The Pre-Thanksgiving Thansgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:39:00 +0000

Continuing my theme for the week, some random things that I am thankful for today...

Fog - we had heavy fog in area this morning, and I guess I'm thankful for it because of the many natural phenomena out there, fog intrigues and amazes me so much. Just thinking about can't help to create a little science lesson in one's head. The fog this morning reminded me to appreciate all the forms that beauty can take on our exquisite little planet.

Pinterest - it amazes me how many recipes you can find on Pinterest to try; as such, it has really helped me pursue focusing on cooking more at home, and emboldened me to try much more adventuresome stuff.

This Video - forwarded to me one of the various list serves I'm on, as a reminder of the power of words and how we convey certain ideas. Just reminded me of how important it is to maintain perspective in this world, to always be grateful for what we have (and some things that we don't), and how simple acts can carry powerful compassion.

Extended family Thanksgiving - on my in-law side tonight; good food (and probably way too much), good conversation with people we don't see very often - its a good reminder of how interconnected we all are sometimes.

What Are You Thankful For Today?

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 01:41:00 +0000

A random list of things for which I'm thankful for today....

Running water for the hot shower I took to start my day;

My weekly Kiwanis meeting - it always it a nice break on every Tuesday to go to this meeting, to share fellowship and laughs with people dedicated to service; its uplifting to be reminded on such a weekly basis of the good that humanity can do when working together;

Email - I think using email in work has a lot of downside, from the impersonal level of communication and the (over) reliance on it when a phone call would probably work better, but today, it really made certain communications easier and allow a resolution to occur very quickly (and much quicker than it would have without email) to a work situation today;

Good co-workers - there really should be no underestimating this. Working with people you like is an immeasurable benefit to a person's life, particularly when you consider that you can often spend half of the time one is awake each day with the people you work, which can be more than you spend with family and friends. In this regard, I am incredibly fortunate. I got hired by a firm in a small city next to the small town that Jackie got a job teaching. That firm's culture was a perfect fit for my attitude and my perspective on work, particularly on the balance between family life and work life. The individual personalities of the attorneys in the firm was also a great match for me; as individuals, we share so many similar interests, from sports and politics to family and community, we all mesh very well with each other. In addition, the rest of the staff works well together, and our office, despite being a law office that can deal with a variety of stressful and tense situations, is generally drama free. I'm thankful for that today, and should remember to be thankful for that everyday.

My Peanut Butter - Raspberry Jam Sandwich - I have this everyday during the work-week for my lunch, along with a cup of greek yogurt. More and more I appreciate the simplicity of it, and the fact that it takes the decision of what to have for lunch out of my hands when I am the office, thereby ensuring that I will make a good decision. Also, as crazy as it sounds, it reminds to be comfortable with who I am and what I like. Though it may be food that is associated with kids, it ends up being a perfect lunch for me.

The Spartans Sports Network - its an online radio broadcast of all Michigan Sports. As we don't have cable or satellite, and when many online streaming services like ESPN3, MLB.com, and Big Ten Digital Network require either a account with a cable provider, a hefty subscriber fee, or constant blackouts for our local teams, it is nice to know that I can still listen to MSU basketball all season long.

What are you thankful for today?

A Week of Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 01:57:00 +0000

This week we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. Its probably my favorite holiday, and not just because of the football and food (although that certainly doesn't hurt). But I enjoy it because I enjoy the reflection that is inherent in giving thanks; it goes to the concept of mindfulness that is so prevalent in Buddhism and that is appealing to me. For me, the daily act of being mindful is one of the most challenging, most necessary, and most rewarding acts. It brings perspective; it brings humility; it brings generosity; it brings compassion. I find it to be so important for relationships, that the maxim "Be mindful" is truly a daily mantra for me.

In that spirit, each night before we eat our dinner, rather than saying a traditional grace or prayer of thanksgiving, we ask each other, "What are you thankful for today." I enjoy this ritual because for us (or at least for me), I find that it makes me focus and think critically on each day to find something for which I'm thankful. Its not about reciting the oft-repeated objects of our thanks such as family and support and food, etc., although that could be something that on that particular day for which I am especially thankful. Its about being mindful of our day, and those things for which we should be thankful. Some dinners it is family and the support, others, its the availability of medicine to address a headache or the antics of our dog that makes us laugh. There is always much for which we should be thankful.

So, I thought, in honor of Thanksgiving, each of my posts this week would reflect on things for which I am thankful; both big and small, the significant and the seemingly banal.

Tonight, I'm thankful for our dog Ellie. She never fails to be over-the-top excited when I come home from work, which always puts me in a good mood upon arriving home, regardless of the type of day I've had. The moments where she exhibits complete trust in me, whether it be napping on my lap or sleeping in the crook of the back of my knee during the night, there is such a good, positive feeling from having another being trust you so completely. The many, many moments where she creates laughter in our household, be it through "hunting" her treats, acting like she is protecting the house with her huffing and puffing and gruffing, or the curious tilts to her head and shifty eyes whenever we have food. She is always a reminder to me to lighten up and enjoy life.

I'm thankful for technology, and its ability to make my world smaller and allowing me to stay in touch with family and friends who may be great distances away. I'm thankful for being able to watch whole episodes of "The Daily Show" online, because it never fails to make me laugh. I'm thankful for the "Instapaper" app as it allows me to better utilize my time in keeping track of stories I wish to read. I'm thankful that I get to continually play my Mom in "Words with Friends.'

Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal No Bake Cookies

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 00:43:00 +0000

During our visit with our birth mother this past Friday, she asked if I had ever tried to make no-bake cookies (I've written previously about making cookies for our visits with our birth mother, and its sort of become "my" thing, so to speak). I said I hadn't but I'd be more than willing to try and share some during our next visit. I remembered that during family get togethers on my mom side, there used to be some awesome no-bake cookies. I called my Mom, and she confirmed that those cookies were my Grandma's recipe, and that she had it and would pass it along to me to make.

So today, I took my first crack at them, and they turned out scrumptious (always wanted to use that word in a blog post). So hopefully, I will be able to share my grandmother's no-bake cookies with our birth mother the next time we see each other, and have another neat story in our adoption journey to (hopefully) share with our daughter.

So, the recipe...

Ingredients:

3 cups quick cooking oatmeal

1/2 cup (or more) crunchy peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 cup butter

2 cups white sugar

3 tablespoons cocoa

1/2 cup milk

dash of salt

Directions:

1. Prepare wax paper to lay cookies on

2. Mix oatmeal, crunchy peanut butter, and vanilla. Set aside.

3. Boil the remaining ingredients rapidly for one minute so that its a smooth mixture

4. Poor the boiled mixture onto the oatmeal mixture, and stir together rapidly.

5. Place spoonfuls on the waxed paper, and allow them to harden.

My grandma's advice provided that the "secret for success" is the speed in the mixing, which has to happen quickly in order to make sure the cookies don't end up too dry.

And the results...

False Alarms

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 01:14:00 +0000

We had a first (hopefully only) false alarm yesterday with the adoption yesterday. At just about 8:30 in the morning, Jackie received a call from our birth mother that she was going into labor and we needed to head down to the hospital (4 hours away). Jackie immediately called my office, and I happened to be in court, which I'm rarely in court. A co-worker immediately came over and got me, another one covered my hearing for me, I rushed back across the street, hopped in the car, and drove like crazy to get home and start the trip.

Thankfully, just the previous weekend, we decided to get everything prepared for the trip, for whenever that phone call would come. I installed the car seat into the car we would be taking. We both packed bags for the trip, and had a list of the additional things that had to be grabbed before heading out. We started the practice of making sure that the car always has enough gas to make the trip without having to stop. We had confirmed that a co-worker would be able to come over and pick up Ellie, as we expect to be gone for a couple days whenever the birth happens. We were set.

So, by 9 o'clock, we were on the road, speeding (responsibly) towards the southern part of the state. Once we were halfway down, as we continued to exchange phone calls with our birth mother, it was confirmed that there would be no baby today, as the doctors wanted to have the pregnancy go for at least another 3 weeks, and gave her a shot to stop/prevent labor. We continued down and ended up meeting our birth mother for lunch, and talked about our "trial run" of the day. It was a long day for all of us (obviously much more for her than us), but it was another good visit on what continues to be a good journey.

It was also good to have the trial run, as we discovered small adjustments we could make to improve how quickly we could leave and get there - a slightly different route that shaves 10-15 minutes, packing more comprehensively, improving how we will communicate with each other when *that* phone call comes again. We think it was good for Ellie to have a trial run as well - to have someone else come get her and spend some more time with that person to gain familiarity and comfort.

False alarms and trial runs; makes us realize that this journey may reach its next point in just a few, short weeks.

Photo Blog Post

noreply@blogger.com (Don S) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 01:12:00 +0000

Some photos of our wonderful little Shichon Ellie (also known as I am too tired to write a post - with the reason why probably the subject of tomorrow's post

Always looking for food

Sleeping - what she does most often.

What she thinks she does - protecting the house from vermin like rabbits

Regularly sleeps on her back as well

She does not like to be woken up in the morning.

Keeping watch over the backyard

Being happy in the grass

Playing Trivial Pursuit

Tired out after a long day of rooting for Michigan State

My favorite pic of her.